Lexicon for Business Speak
“Lots of impactful statements which we can use to get traction going forward. Once actioned, we can socialize our proactive approach while potentiating a high level overview of the implementation. This goal will be our primary, secondary, tertiary and quaternary deliverable which we’ll leverage during the lift and shift of the valuation by our Executive.”
(Yes, people in corporations actually talk this way.)
This is a little project I occupied myself with while I worked for the Bank. I found it absurd that people actually spoke to each other in this way, so I documented it for later use. Enjoy!
And stuff like that
And that kind of thing
At the end of the day
Blue Sky this
Connecting (with people)
Emotional Intelligence (EI) *1*
Group Grope (meetings) *2*
I get what you’re laying down
Interface with my continuance
Leverage (used as a verb) *3*
Lift and Shift
Lines of Defense
Make it so
On the same page
Parking Lot Item
Plan of action
Poking the bear (audit)
When all is said and done
“Allow me to calibrate my reference in the most optimal way.”
“We’ll have our folks work on it, have some face to face and maybe we’ll have some cycles for a day in the life and make it real.”
“Let me give you some background on the ask.”
“Let’s blue sky this/let’s ballpark this.”
“Let’s circle back to that.”
“Let’s put that in the parking lot.”
“Let’s touch base on that later.”
“Let’s take this off-line.”
“The board was convinced that my new ad campaign for arsenic and semen flavored lollipops for tots will be incredibly impactful and will generate heaps of sales.”
“I am an idiot so I will spend my day solutioning a way to deal with my stupidity.”
1“If this isn’t what you are looking for, feel free to book a quick call so we can clarify your ask.
*1* Emotional Intelligence (EI): In Canada, EI is the acronym for Employment Insurance, which used to be called Unemployment Insurance in the days before political correctness poisoned our society. EI is a government-paid or tax-funded insurance given to workers laid-off from their employment.
*2* Group Grope: was coined by a boss of mine. She used it to describe mandatory team meetings.
*3* Leverage (used as a verb): Here is an excellent angle on Leverage as a Verb.
*4* Utilize: This has always been a point of contention for me. I’m not sure how this word became a synonym for Use. I hypothesize that it was done by IT folks who were looking at utilization statistics of various computer related resources, like memory utilization and bandwidth usage. Somehow using something morphed into making use of something. I’m using my flashlight to light my way. Versus I’m utilizing my cellphone as a flashlight to light my way. Naturally, language evolves to serve people, yet I cringe every time Utilize is utilized incorrectly.