Restrooms and Keys

During my road trip back to Toronto from Las Vegas, it occurred to me that restrooms in the US are open to everyone.  In Ontario, you need a key to use them.  I don’t get that.  Often when you go to a shop or gas station or office, they have a washroom key on this massive piece of wood, which they keep replacing from time to time.  They say – they want to keep track of the key, so they attach it to something gargantuan that won’t be easily lost.

But why are we locking shit-houses in the first place?  Aren’t Canadians supposed to keep their doors unlocked????

Signing off from Bettendorf, IA

Gun Control in 2014 & Beyond

I’m finding it interesting how the Empire is going about disarming its citizenry these days. For instance, in Canada, the government has an extremely complicated and convoluted process for citizens to own, manage and enjoy their firearms.  In the US, they won’t touch the second amendment, but they will horde all the ammo.
Here’s a quote I found that nails it beautifully:
“The difference between a gun collection and an art collection is the supply and demand of ammunition.” — Alexandre Johnson

Epic Facepalm

For lunch yesterday, my buddy and I decided to dine at a local pub a short walk from the firm.  While we were unwinding, we discussed how epically retarded our organization manages its technology infrastructure.  We couldn’t help but notice this guy several tables down from us doing the same thing with his friends.  He was wearing an Epic FACEPALM. It was priceless.  I yelled down the room and asked, “Are you guys employees of “FIRM” too?”  They said yes.

It was epic.

This is the second time this month that a badly managed server infrastructure has gone down.  How they investigate and resolve the same issue over and over again is absurd.

It would be nice if humans could sometimes learn from past mistakes.  Hmm on second thought, maybe they wouldn’t be humans if they didn’t rinse and repeat.

Random Endorsements

Today I was endorsed for “Disaster Recovery.”  What does that mean exactly?  I know I cause disasters, but recover from them?  Hmmm…

What’s with random people making random endorsements on linkedin?  I’ll never get that.  And why would anyone care?

Gender Non-Specific

While on the subway yesterday, I saw an advert for a place that treats depression.  After several questions of: Are you sad?  Are you feeling like your life is meaningless?  etc….  The 3rd paragraph where they tell you why you should call them, they said: “if you’re male, or female, between 19-60, call us!”
Gee male or female.  Dang that narrows it down.  What about the other option???

And 19-60 eh?  Interesting.  Nice range.

So not that we’re trying to use any stigmas to rate and qualify you, but please give us some insight into what category you fit in so that we can categorize you accordingly.

My Favourite Lawyer Joke

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, “Four.” The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced “Four.” The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked “How much do you want it to be?


So my home is slowly coming together.  I’ve got my kitchen well stocked with appliances and tools to help me continue to make signature dishes on a whim.  Today I bought an electric kettle, some more glasses (that aren’t xmas themed) and a mashed potato masher.

X-mas themed glasses is a funny story.  My brother and I went to Loblaws the evening I moved into my new place.  I bought $300 worth of stuff, not too much of it food related.  Mostly paper products, utensils, a brita water jug and detergents.  Shit I forgot to buy detergent today.  Anyway, they happen to also sell themed kitchen items and I found 4 wine glasses for $12 and 4 drinking glasses for $10.  So you know me, I could care less about the small price to pay for living, so I got them.  If I find better later, I can toss these or give them away and move on.  These glasses are actually well made and I like them.  My brother made fun of me for having them because they are themed with red trees and have snow falling around.  Who cares?  The funny thing is I bought 4 more glasses, neutral ones, so when he comes over for the party, I’ll make sure he gets an xmas themed glass and everyone else has regular ones.  And yes, I’ll be having a party once I get an ottoman and a couch.

I also picked up some curtains this week and some small stuff for the apt.  I need to also go to ikea for bookshelves.  What’s neat is part of me loves the idea that I’m starting fresh and building a new life.  Another part is like: Fuck a duck man, I don’t want to have to buy so many things new.  It can be rough sometimes, but mostly it has been awesome.

Dad is in town this weekend and we hung out today.  Tomorrow he and my brother are coming over for dinner.  I’m making my signature lentil soup.

Lovin my new pad!!

Pics to come when I have my own internet and I’m running the beast.  Right now I’m mooching internet from one of the usual suspects.  That is, either a ditzy chick or an elderly person.  It’s always old people and ditzy chicks that have unsecured wireless networks.  God love them!

Anyway – the beast has photoshop on it and I prefer manipulating images with a mouse and keyboard.  The mac is for blogging.  The beast is for everything else, and video games.  It’s after all a REAL computer!

Back to my pad though.  Awesome fuckin place.  10′ ceilings, lots of room, lots of space, and lots of ideas.  My bedroom has taken shape nicely.  Pics will come later, I promise Chad!

It’s taken me 32 years to offer myself a life of luxury.  Bout fucking time eh?