Gender Non-Specific

While on the subway yesterday, I saw an advert for a place that treats depression.  After several questions of: Are you sad?  Are you feeling like your life is meaningless?  etc….  The 3rd paragraph where they tell you why you should call them, they said: “if you’re male, or female, between 19-60, call us!”
Gee male or female.  Dang that narrows it down.  What about the other option???

And 19-60 eh?  Interesting.  Nice range.

So not that we’re trying to use any stigmas to rate and qualify you, but please give us some insight into what category you fit in so that we can categorize you accordingly.

UAVs coming to Ontario?

Talk about the next step of bringing Big Brother above a property near you:

Police drones raise fears over personal privacy

“Strict Criteria” is great until something not on the radar appears on the radar.  Call it the camera’s peripheral vision.  All it takes is one instance and privacy has been violated.

This is scary to me.

And then there’s Bill C-30 and south of the border, another reason why I don’t want to live in the US.  However, at the rate our governments are moving to control the citizenry, it won’t matter where we live because it will be the same everywhere.

Seems like we’re heading into a dystopian future with a twist.  Call it Idiocracy meets Minority Report + Mad Max.  Scary shit.  Is this the cost of having fresh water, good food and clean air?  I hope not!

My Favourite Lawyer Joke

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, “Four.” The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced “Four.” The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked “How much do you want it to be?

Active Directory: Explained

I’ve spent many many many hours trying to explain Active Directory to non-techie audiences.  I’ve done this over the course of several years a few minutes here and there and finally, after some serious concentration (.000006 seconds), I figured out a wonderful analogy that I think actually works.  Here it is:

For techies: 
Active Directory is Microsoft’s hierarchical Directory Service architecture designed to centralize and standardize the automation of user data, security, and distributed resources network management.

For non-techies but not noobs either:
Active Directory is a server program designed to centralize and standardize the automation of user data, security, and application access across a computer network.

For absolute noobs:
AD is like a turntable at a sushi bar.  The sushi tray is your computer and the different types of sushi on your tray are your various applications. Your single ID and password grants you access to your sushi tray no matter where you sit in the bar.  Furthermore, you only have access to the sushi on your tray and cannot add more or steal from other trays.

I’d love to get some feedback on this, because this is what I’ve been using now to explain to people.  My techie friends think this is brilliant.  I just need to find some noob friends that eat sushi who can relate.  And by the way, it’s okay to be an AD noob.  Everyone has their thing!

Curtains Down

I have this vision of a future me pointing my index finger at me in an “I told you so” kind of way, with the kind of intensity that requires hiding my head in the sand for being ashamed of myself.  But it isn’t shame because there is none.  It’s something else…

I’ve been listening to a 3 minute video narrated by Alan Watts called “What if money didn’t matter?”  It’s an old one about finding purpose to life.  He asks, “What do you desire?  What makes you itch?”  And goes on about following your dreams no matter what, and not worrying about money.  In Alan’s video, or I should say in the video sound clipped to Alan’s lecture from however long ago, the camera pans up at a guy at a desk working on papers and it continues to pan above his head for 5 more seconds showing an endless stack of paper.  I feel like I’m THAT GUY and I HATE it!!

Here’s the video.

I must have watched it 100 times by now.

Every day I’ve woken up asking myself why I’m doing this and how much longer I want to waste my life away. This being, working at my firm, in a role I still don’t understand and not at all committed the way my colleagues are.

Last night was our department’s “Town Hall” which is basically when the executives talk to the hamsters once per quarter.  It’s a chance for the hamsters to feel appreciated and think they matter to the bottom line.  I find them synonymous with funerals because they allow me time to really reflect about life and purpose.

So while sitting at our town hall yesterday, watching people get special awards for going above and beyond, I realized that if I want to qualify for those “awards,” I’d have to annihilate my true self and willingly give myself to this program.  And I’ve no desire to become Jason Bourne.  Great character, but it’s not me.

My colleagues actually enjoy working late, working weekends, working more than they get paid and writing off their existence for their work, as a cog on a wheel in a firm.

And me – well, I’d like to start a company, do some consulting and work for me.  Find my own way, and love what I do.

I’ve manifested the apartment I want to live in, and want to stay there for a while.  I’ve manifested the life I want. Now I want to manifest a daily activity that allows me to carry this life and save on top.  Oh and I got my raise.  Not very much, but better than a boomerang to the jugular.  Currently, 2 weeks of salary = 1 month of rent.  I’d like to decrease the first number and increase the second number.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings…

……Roger that Tango Alpha Six. Proceeding to target. Hold on. I can’t find my keys!

If my father worked for the NSA, he’d be their supreme mobile unit in the field.  He never leaves the house without his netbook, 2 GPSs, 3 cellphones, 2 cameras, (one normal digital and one high speed), a 3 inch wallet filled with points cards, credit cards, preferred customer cards, maybe even a library card.  And a keychain with every key it seems since he lived in University.

This mobility tech pack as I’m calling it for lack of a better term is what comes with him everywhere he goes.  Whether going out for a half a day or going to breakfast for an hour.  All these devices accompany him everywhere, and it’s pretty comical.

Today we ran some errands.  I sat in the back of my brother’s jeep while my brother drove and my dad sat in the front.  My brother loves his GPS.  He’s a GPS kind of guy.  My father is too, and he has 2 of them.  GPS one has all the roads in North America and Europe.  GPS two has the rest.  Of course I sometimes think about asking why a guy living and driving exclusively in North America needs a GPS for Asia and I keep biting my tongue.  Really, no good can come of a question like that.

So we’re driving along, heading to our destination and these 2 GPSs are going at it.  Plus my dad and bro are chatting over top these voices.  In one hundred meters, turn left on Main St.  Really??  2 GPSs???

Now the best part in all of this is the paranoid sketchy sketch bot that exists in here.  My dad is one of those guys that lives in the temporary.  He’s always doing things “just in case” something happens.  Everything has a back up plan and a plan C and D.  He doesn’t just live and experience life so that should something happen, he can deal with it when faced with it.  Instead he plans for plans.  I’m so glad I don’t live in that scarcity model.  I do love him though and think it can be funny sometimes.

For instance, he’s notorious for misplacing his keys.  Often he’ll have his keys hidden or covered by one of these gadget bags or mobility tech packs.  His plan B and C will cover his plan A and he won’t realize it till he has to go somewhere.  So for example, he’ll have his computer packed, his various gadgets and be ready for anything, but forget the most important thing of all: his wallet or his keys.

Throughout my life, I’ve heard him say, “where are my keys?”  And this is what I think about.  It’s pretty funny to think about.  I hope I never become like that.  I carry next to nothing and find everything.  Adapt and cope with whatever happens and sleep very well at night.  I consider myself very very lucky.


So my home is slowly coming together.  I’ve got my kitchen well stocked with appliances and tools to help me continue to make signature dishes on a whim.  Today I bought an electric kettle, some more glasses (that aren’t xmas themed) and a mashed potato masher.

X-mas themed glasses is a funny story.  My brother and I went to Loblaws the evening I moved into my new place.  I bought $300 worth of stuff, not too much of it food related.  Mostly paper products, utensils, a brita water jug and detergents.  Shit I forgot to buy detergent today.  Anyway, they happen to also sell themed kitchen items and I found 4 wine glasses for $12 and 4 drinking glasses for $10.  So you know me, I could care less about the small price to pay for living, so I got them.  If I find better later, I can toss these or give them away and move on.  These glasses are actually well made and I like them.  My brother made fun of me for having them because they are themed with red trees and have snow falling around.  Who cares?  The funny thing is I bought 4 more glasses, neutral ones, so when he comes over for the party, I’ll make sure he gets an xmas themed glass and everyone else has regular ones.  And yes, I’ll be having a party once I get an ottoman and a couch.

I also picked up some curtains this week and some small stuff for the apt.  I need to also go to ikea for bookshelves.  What’s neat is part of me loves the idea that I’m starting fresh and building a new life.  Another part is like: Fuck a duck man, I don’t want to have to buy so many things new.  It can be rough sometimes, but mostly it has been awesome.

Dad is in town this weekend and we hung out today.  Tomorrow he and my brother are coming over for dinner.  I’m making my signature lentil soup.

Lovin my new pad!!

Pics to come when I have my own internet and I’m running the beast.  Right now I’m mooching internet from one of the usual suspects.  That is, either a ditzy chick or an elderly person.  It’s always old people and ditzy chicks that have unsecured wireless networks.  God love them!

Anyway – the beast has photoshop on it and I prefer manipulating images with a mouse and keyboard.  The mac is for blogging.  The beast is for everything else, and video games.  It’s after all a REAL computer!

Back to my pad though.  Awesome fuckin place.  10′ ceilings, lots of room, lots of space, and lots of ideas.  My bedroom has taken shape nicely.  Pics will come later, I promise Chad!

It’s taken me 32 years to offer myself a life of luxury.  Bout fucking time eh?